Various
by Quil Explodes
Summary: Drabbles based on various prompts. T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Upside Down--Quil, Claire**

"Quil! Help me!" She yelled helplessly from where she was hanging. The asphalt below her mutated into lava for a second.

Quil chucked, walking slowly towards her. Agonizingly slowly.

"Quil, I swear my legs are going to give away in a second, and I'm going to fall and die, and it's going to be your fault."

Quil frowned. "You know I'll always catch you, Claire."

"Uh-huh." She snorted, and almost choked. She froze when he leant his head down close to hers. "No, no, no. Quil, don't--"

She closed her eyes when he kissed her quickly, upside down, and she dropped her arms and legs and landed not in boiling lava but in Quil's, still hot, arms.

"Told you I'd catch you." He smirked.

"Yeah, after you make me fall."

--

**Blue Skin--Jacob, Bella**

"What the hell did you do to yourself, Bells?" I gaped at her as she moved her hair forward to cover her face.

"Alice," she muttered. I raised an eyebrow.

I have to admit, even on Bella, her usually beautiful blush on top of bright blue skin was not a very nice color.

"You look good purple."

--

**Paternal--Quil, Claire**

"You need to understand, Sam, _please_--"

"Shut up, Quil. You're not helping anything."

Quil collapsed in Sam's kitchen chair.

"It's not the end of the world, Quil." Jacob said from the corner.

"You can say that."

"Yes, I can," he responded cooly.

--

**Ice Cave--Jacob, Claire**

"At least put on a hat or something. Quil is going to kill me."

"If he's going to kill you anyway, then it shouldn't matter."

Jacob put a hand over his heart dramatically. "I'm hurt, Claire. You don't even care what he's planning to do to me..."

"Yeah, I'm not the one who can read his mind."

Jacob groaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Claire hands him a shovel. "How can Quil want to kill you for hanging out with me?"

"It's not just hanging out, Claire, you know that."

Claire burst out laughing, and Jacob turned a bright shade of red.

"Okay, okay, you know I didn't mean that."

"It's just snow, Jake, relax."

"Ice," he muttered.

--

**Invisibility--Jacob, Leah, Nessie**

Sometimes I just wish I'm invisible. Such as when I really, really, hate my imprint.

It's weird, this feeling. Leah, who's taken Sam's place in theorizing why things happen to our messed up species, thinks it's because I'm _conflicted_.

Seriously. As if it has anything to do with the half-vampire thing.

Leah, after being near-invisible after Sam imprinted, doesn't get the fact that I can see _her_.

I can see her and I hate it too, but I never hate her.

Only...sometimes I feel like I hate Nessie, but I always hate imprinting.

--

**Escapade I--Jacob, Claire**

"Quil is going to kill me."

"Why is it whenever I'm with you, you say that?"

"It's only when we go on these little, _illegal_, escapades. He thinks I spend too much time with you."

"He does not. And we're not doing anything illegal. You just wanted to make it sound dramatic."

"You can't read his mind. He'd never say it to us, actually, but he can't help thinking it."

"He's stupid."

"I know."

"Aren't you ashamed of being related to him?"

"You have no idea."

"Well then, can you do me a favor and _think_ to him next time you're in his head that, surprisingly enough, I love him, and if he doesn't believe it then he's an idiot. And why are you smirking at me?"

"Your face."

"What's so funny about my--jeez, Jake. Yes, I love you too, but I don't want to throw you down and have hot wild sex with you every time I see you."

"Why, thank you. I'll make sure to think about that as well."

"You do that."

--

**Escapade II--Claire, Quil**

"Sorry, Claire."

"It's not your fault for thinking that."

"Sure, sure."

"Stop looking at me like that."

"It's kind of hard."

"And why is that?"

"You really didn't need to say that to Jake."

"What?"

"What you said."

"What part of what I said? That I love you?"

"Uh...no. That other part."

"Ah. Yeah. Well. Um. You can stop being so embarrassed."

"Is it...true?"

"Do I ever lie to Jake?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, about you?"

"Uh...I dunno. This might be a first."

"Quil."

...

"Yeah, okay, I believe you now."

"That's the difference between you and Jake."

"That's it?"

"Well, apart from the fact that I'm in love with you. And I'm not with Jake. As you can see."

"Oh."

"Well, we didn't have ho--"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Touche."

--

**Time Flies--Jacob, Bella**

Whenever I'm with Bella Swan, time flies.

It's not that I'm having fun. You'd think that, at least, I'd get _more_ time, just because of that, because I'm not having fun.

But, of course, even when I'm miserable and with her, it's like an hour passes in a second.

Even when I thought I had enough time in the world. She'd sit down in the Rabbit, we'd exchange a few words, and then she's say, "I gotta go make dinner for Charlie..." and she'd be gone.

Maybe it was an omen. Maybe I should have payed more attention.

Problem is, I've never really believed in omens. Exploding into a giant wolf when you get pissed off tends to do that to a person.

Especially if you don't believe in them before.

--

**Late--Quil, Claire**

"You're late."

"I know."

"Again."

"I know."

"Why?" She got into the car, staring at me while she did.

"Claire..." I rubbed my eyes with my hands, winced as the recent wound pulled. "Please, just..."

"What? Quil, you don't hang out with anyone else who doesn't know. Why am I different? Just some girl you saw and decided to be my friend? Why don't I get to know? Why _do_ I get to know _you_?"

Even when she was angry at me, she made it sound like something she liked. Knowing me.

"You do, Claire, you do get to know, just..."

"Jared said he told Kim when she was sixteen."

"That's different."

"I'm sixteen."

"He was sixteen."

"How old are you, then?"

"Claire..."

"What!" Her hands clenched into fists. "Fine, Quil, don't tell me. I don't know why you would anyways. Who am I to know? I'll just leave, then. You don't need to see me anymore, if you don't want to." He hand reached for the handle.

I slammed on the brakes. "Claire! What are you--stop, you could get hur--"

"And why would you care if I did, Quil?"

"Because! Because I love you, okay?" My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel.

"Yeah. Yeah, right."

I closed my eyes against the pain that shot through me. "God, Claire. Why is that so hard to believe?"

She laughed bitterly. "If you knew me, you wouldn't say that."

"I know you, Claire," I whispered.

"Then how can you love me?"

"Because you're beautiful, and smart, and funny, and I'm not going to list all the reasons because you'd kill me."

"Then tell me, Quil, the reason why I'm a junior in high school and not one boy has so much as looked at me?"

I sighed. "Uh...I don't know, Claire. Maybe they're gay or something. I don't know. But it doesn't matter--"

"Matter? It matters to me! But we just established that what matters to me doesn't matter to you, so can you please stop the car so I can get out!"

I shook my head. "I'll drop you off at home. It's not safe here."

We sat in silence for the next minute or so. I slowed down considerably. I wanted nothing less than to let her out of my sight right now.

She starts again. "Why, Quil? Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you--oh. Oh." She buries her face in her hands.

I glance over at her. "Don't cry, Claire--"

"I'm not crying!" She snarled at me, but I could see her tears through her hair.

"What did I say?" I muttered.

She looked away from me. "You have no idea how much I'm freaking in love with you and then you tell me you love me like my _parents_ and that's even worse than not even knowing I exist--" She breaks off, looking horrified.

Several seconds passed. "I never said that," I said finally, my heart in my throat.

"What?"

"I never said I loved you like you like your parents do."

"Oh. Okay."

"But it's not true, anyways."

"It's not?" She glances at me.

"Well, obviously I do, but I also love you like I really, really wish I wasn't driving because I really, _really_ want to kiss you right now."

--

**Hunger--Emily, the pack**

"I'm hung--"

"Yes, yes, I'm coming." Emily rolled her eyes, but smiled. As much as she complained, everyone knew she loved feeding the pack.

She's swarmed by hungry teenage werewolves, and said, "Okay, well, you could always come here."

Sam kisses her before he descends on the food and she can't stop smiling.

--

**Together--Quil, Claire**

"This is weird," Claire said quietly in my ear. I closed my eyes--she had no idea what she did to me.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"I mean, we've known each other for years. Why should this be any different?"

She knew the answer as well as I did. _Together._

It was a nasty word, really. Neither of us liked it as much as we though we would have.

As Sam shot us weird glances, I asked her if she wanted to leave.

"Yes. Very much."

We escaped outside, and she kissed me quickly.

"It doesn't really change anything, you know," she told me.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

--

**Finally!--Quil, Claire**

Finally, she knew.

Finally, she knew the other thing.

Well, both of them, really. Because you can't really know one without the other. That's what Quil thought, anyways. That would be too much like lying.

And she didn't care he was what some would call a monster (she called it "awesome") and she didn't care he was completely in love with her.

Well, maybe she didn't care because she was too. With him, not her.

--

**First--Quil, Claire**

Claire was used to Quil being her _first_.

First kiss, first person to call, first place to go. Whenever.

So when Peter Peterson (really, that was his name) slid his hand up her shirt and yanked off his own, she had some doubts. When his hand went lower she really regretted the fact that she told Quil_ don't worry_.

Yeah, and when it was her pants coming off, she really couldn't quite understand why he had blonde hair, and why his hands were so cold, and, most of all, why he was here.

Or rather, why she was here.

"I can't do this," she muttered. He took his lips off her neck (getting dangerously lower).

"What?"

"I have to go."

"Claire, why--"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Peter."

"Can't do this--" he motioned to both of them half naked on his bed-- "or _this_?" His hand waved between them.

"Any of it." Better break everything off now. That way she wouldn't feel guilty when...

She pulled on her pants, then her shirt, trying not to look him in the eyes. "I'm really sorry, Peter." She grabbed her keys off the floor, left abruptly, not able to really feel all that guilty.

At least not till she pulled up at Quil's house and he was waiting for her, and she saw his face when he saw her unbuttoned shirt and messy hair and wide, scared eyes.

"I can't do it, Quil, I can't, I can't..." She muttered against his chest when he hugged her.

"Shh, it's okay, Claire. It's okay. You're safe. It's okay."

--

**Scarred for Life--Quil, Claire, Embry**

"Aaaghh!!" Quil spun me around when we saw what, or rather, who, was in the kitchen.

"Close your eyes, Claire, close your eyes!" He pushed me into the next room. "Stay there!"

"Oh, come on, Quil, what's the big deal?" I heard Embry's slow voice, coming closer. I shut my eyes as tight as they would go, added another layer with my hands.

"It's okay, he's wearing clothes." I cautiously opened my eyes, taking in Embry's (thankfully) half-clothed form.

"Still not enough, I'm scarred for life." I mumbled.

"What, you no like hot naked werewolves?" Embry cocked his head, grinning maliciously.

"Me only like _one_ hot naked werewolf," I said and Quil chuckled.

--

**Naive--Quil, Claire**

"You're so naive," I told Quil. "So innocent. So--"

"All right, all right, I got it," he muttered. "So what if I don't have any, uh, experience? I've been imprinted on you my whole li--"

"Not your whole life," I pointed out. "_My_ whole life. Almost. _Half_ of yours."

"Yeah, well, I had other things to deal with." He frowned.

"Don't worry, it's okay. I like it, actually," I murmured as I pressed my lips to his.

--

**Whoa...--Quil, Claire**

A looming black shape came slowly out of the trees.

Very slowly. Too slowly. Because I could still see his eyes from twenty feet away, and I ran forward to meet him.

He stepped back jerkily. I froze.

"I'm not scared of you." My voice sounded too loud in the still peacefulness of the forest.

His great chocolate brown head bowed, and he folded gracefully to the ground in one smooth movement.

"I love you," I whispered when I settled against his side. He was so warm I had to take off my jacket. Even warmer than when he was a human.

His nose pressed against my cheek as if in agreement.

--

**Revelation--Quil, Claire**

"Shit. You're a werewolf."

I looked at his nod and laughed. Immediately realized it was the exact wrong thing to do. His eyebrows came together as he frowned.

"No, I mean--oh, Quil." I walked the few remaining steps to him, wrapped my arms around him tightly, buried my face in his chest.

His hands hung at his sides. "You don't care?" He whispered.

This time when I laughed, he knew it was with love, not hate or whatever else he thought.

"Of course not."

--

**Hurt--Jacob, Bella**

"OW! Jesus Christ, that hurt--fuck! Jacob!"

"If you stop moving I could help you." He grinned at me from the sidelines. I stumbled over to him, tripping again, but he caught me. I all but fell head-first against him.

"Just take some ice, Bells, it'll be fine."

"Sure, sure." I glared at his smile. "You don't even know what it's like to be hurt--and not heal automatically."

"You don't even know what it's like to be a werewolf." His smile faded.

"Yeah, you're right. Like always."

--

**Perfection--Quil, Claire**

Claire wasn't perfect, Quil knew that. He knew she was too stubborn for her own good, she played her music too loud. There were tons of other things, too.

But he was glad. Because if she were perfect, he would never be able to be around her. It was like humans felt around the vampires.

That's why they were so comfortable together. It really didn't matter.

--

**Tada!--Jacob, Claire**

Jacob pulled the sheet from--

A shiny, black...car.

"Tada!" He said, glancing at me tentatively. "Like it?"

"It's...uh, great."

His face falls at my unenthusiastic response.

"No, no! I mean, I love it, Jake. Thanks." I hug him tightly. "That's really...um, sweet of you."

"You don't seem too happy."

"No, no, I am. Thanks. It's awesome." I walk up to it slowly. "Are you sure Quil doesn't mind?"

"Are you joking? Why would Quil mind?"

"I thought he thought I spent too much time with you."

Jake shook his head slowly. "First of all, he thought _I_ spent too much time with _you_, not the other way around. Second, he got over that after...well..." He made a face, and I laughed.

"Sorry you had to...uh, see that."

"That's...really okay. I'm _only_ scarred for life." He sends me a look and sighs dramatically, and I smack his arm.

"Quil has very vivid thoughts," he murmured, staring at me, and I felt my face heat up. "But I phased as soon as I could, don't worry.

"As...soon as you could? And who else was...?"

"Oh, just a few people."

"Jake. You didn't answer my first question."

"Well, we had to patrol...and since Sam wasn't there, no one made him shut up."

"Oh, shit." I couldn't look at him, remembering exactly what had conspired between Quil and me a few weeks ago, after I had that conversation with Jake. "Oh, _shit_."

"It's okay, Claire, really. I don't think of you...uh, differently."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure," I muttered as I saw the look in his eyes. That told me he was lying.

Oh, shit.

--

**Perception--Quil, Claire, Jacob**

Quil was very perceptive (at least when it came to me). And when he dropped by Jake's garage, saw my red face and Jake's slightly abashed one, he knew what we had said.

Well, most of it.

He glared at Jake.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Nothing. What did you do to her?" He changed his mind mid sentence.

"Nothing--just embarrassed her a bit. It's okay. She's over it. Aren't you?"

"Not really," I muttered. _Not even close._

_--_

**Distance--Quil, Claire**

Distance was always a problem with them.

There was no way he wanted her to go to college, but he swallowed it, not letting himself take away her chance to make something of her life.

Claire never thought of going. She wouldn't have even if she had never met Quil. She hated school, more than most people, and there was no way she would go when she had a choice.

And anyways, what she wanted to do didn't require going to college.

"So...when are you leaving?" Quil asked tentatively, even though the suspicious absence of acceptance letters and plans was a little bit...suspicious.

"Leaving?" Claire repeated blankly. "Leaving to where?"

Quil blinked, tried not to look at her, because he didn't really want to remind her...even though, he tried to tell himself, how could she have forgotten?

"College, of course."

"College? I thought I told you I'm not going?"

Quil shook his head.

He voiced only the objections he was supposed to, but then took her into his arms and was _so glad_ that she made her own decision--_to stay_...

--

**Let Your Hair Down--Emily, Claire's mother (Sarah)**

"Sarah."

"Emily."

The sisters stood at opposite sides of Emily's kitchen, glaring at each other across the linoleum.

"You can't stop them now," Emily told her sister. "Once you start, you can't stop. Especially them."

"Have you seen--"

"Yes, I've seen them together, and that's enough for me. Only fifteen years, Sarah, Quil never once hurt her. What makes you think he'll start now?"

"She was _crying_, Emily. Because of him."

"Because she misunderstood. The second he knew she was in pain, he went to her, told her everything. You can't deny that."

"I can't deny anything."

--

**Kiss--Quil, Claire**

Claire loved kissing Quil. It was like nothing she'd ever felt--and she'd kissed her share of guys.

No, not like anything. The way his hands burned and his lips...and what those hands and lips _did_ to her--

She probably shouldn't be thinking about this in English class.

--

**Cliff Hanger--Quil, Claire**

Claire threw down the book. It hit the floor with a crash.

Quil spun around. "What the--oh."

"I hate cliff hangers," she muttered. "What do they gain from it? Come on. People are still going to buy their friggin book. Actually, no one buys them anyways! They just get them from the library! Ugh!"

In her distress, Claire didn't see the irregularity of the floor, and she pitched right forward into Quil's arms.

"Right. Well." She struggled to get up, straightening her shirt, which had ridden up dangerously high.

Quil's lips trailed along her neck, up to her lips, and she soon forgot all about the stupid book.

--

**Poor Choice--Bella, Jacob, Edward**

The second she turned away from Jacob, lying in his bed, Bella Swan knew she made the wrong choice.

But she couldn't go back. What if she was wrong? She couldn't hurt him again.

Then it was Edward's arms around her as she sobbed, and she sobbed for a different reason. She longed for the warm arms and warmer lips and--

Weeks passed, and plans were made.

Edward told her again and again, _don't do this if you don't want to. You always have a choice._

She told him she couldn't do it. He was disappointed, of course, but reassured her that she can still live a long and happy life, he won't care if she gets old--

That's not what I meant, she said, her heart breaking as she did so.

Before he understood completely, she was in her car, her old, almost-breaking-down truck, but she loved it anyways. It was slow, human, _real_.

Like Jacob. Minus the human part.

--

**Game--Jacob, Bella**

"Is this just a game for you, Bella?" He said loudly when he saw her and she explained.

"No, no, no, Jake, not a game--"

"It sure seems like that, coming and going, back and forth, I can't live with that! you know that!"

"I know, Jake, I'm sorry, no more back and forth, I promise."

"That's what you said last time," he snarled, turning away from her so she wouldn't see his fists shaking.

"I know, I'm, sorry, I thought--I didn't want to hurt you--"

"And of course this doesn't do that. Not at all." He wasn't in the mood for sarcasm. "I had dealt with the fact of no Bella, Bells."

"You don't have to."

"I did, though."

"I can go--"

"No!"

--

**Make-up--Quil, Claire**

"Claire, you look beautiful how you are. You don't need that."

"Don't start on the 'you're only fourteen you're too young to be using make-up' bullshit, Quil. And why are you here anyways?" I glanced at his reflection in the mirror in front of me.

"Your mom told me you were in here. And I wasn't going to say that. Even when you're a billion years old you won't need make-up."

"Okay."

"You can at least _pretend_ to take me seriously, you know."

"Why? A grown werewolf telling me I'm beautiful--a grown werewolf who--never mind."

"That's not fair. Who what?"

"Why isn't it fair?"

"You know why, you said it. I don't age. Anyway, who what?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"Don't do that to me."

"Who what?"

"Leave me alone!"

--

**Leaving--Jacob, Leah**

"Don't go." I beg her.

"I have to, Jake."

"No you don't. You could stay."

"I didn't know that staying was the opposite of going, Jake. Please. Let me go."

"You could stay. With me."

Leah blinks. "Why would I stay with _you_?"

I hesitate. "Stay with--stay being my beta, Leah, please. I need you."

"I hope you mean that you need me to help you keep the boys in line. I'm really hoping you mean that."

"Yeah, I mean that, but...I also just need you, Leah, because I just--I..." My voice fails me as my heart speeds up painfully. "Don't go," I whisper.

"What about Nessie?" Leah frowns, knowing what I meant.

"What about Nessie? I don't care, Leah, just please...I'm begging, Leah, and you know how I feel about begging."

"I'll stay if you give tell me why you want me to and if you give me one good reason."

"Because I love you."

--

**Rain--Bella, Jacob**

I stare out at the pouring rain blurring the windows of Jake's garage.

"I think it's growing on me, the rain," I say to no one in particular. But, of course, there being only person in earshot, he's the only one who hears. Obviously.

"That's good," he says distractedly.

--

**Flood--Quil, Claire**

"You know how I hate you picking me up?"

"Unless we're making out. Then it's okay." Quil rolled his eyes, and I blinked up through the rain.

"Well, yeah, okay. But anyways. I think now might be an exception."

"Why?"

"Because I'm freezing, wearing flip-flops and a t-shirt, my jeans are soaked to my knees, you are warm, and the rain is coming down in sheets, and there's about a mile long lake going back to either of our houses...enough reasons?"

"I think it might be convincing." He swept me up, holding me against his warm body. I shivered.

"Cold?" He started walking across the 'mile long lake.'

A few seconds later, I said, "You know, I think I might have to take back what I said. I don't think this should be an exception."

"You want me to put you down?" He looked doubtfully at the water on the ground.

"No. There was an 'unless,' Quil, that you so thoughtfully reminded me of."

--

**Fire--Quil, Claire**

The opposite of water, I reasoned, was, closely enough, fire.

Which Quil epically failed trying to start when he set me on my feet, threw me some dry clothes, and kneeled in front of the fireplace.

Five minutes later, he declared all was lost.

I told him I really didn't care, because he was the closest one could get to fire, and anyways, I preferred him instead. Anyways.

He smiled sort of shyly, which was unlike him, pulled me to my feet, brought me to his bed. I crawled in most willingly, and he ducked out of the room.

Lying there, smelling him on the sheets, I couldn't really not want him. Um. There.

I padded out to the hall. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the non-existant fire.

"You know, Quil, your blankets really can't be compared to you. And aren't you cold?"

"Cold? Me?" But he got up, led me to his bed again.

"And I'd be awfully lonely here without you." Really, how long could it take for him to get my not-so-subtle hints?

He sighed, crawling in after me, kissing the top of my head. "Of course, Claire. I wasn't staying out there forever, you know."

--

**Hot Chocolate--Emily, Claire**

"I really like your hot chocolate."

"I know."

"Have you ever tasted Quil's?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Embry tried to warn me, but I didn't listen."

"Yeah, same with me. I think he gave up after that."

"There's no one else to poison."

--

**Patience--Quil, Claire**

Quil knew it would take patience. He didn't mind, as long as he could see her, as long as he could--well, seeing her was usually enough.

Until, of course, she was older. Just like Sam told her, now, not only did he want to see her, but he wanted to touch her. Badly.

It almost hurt, when she was so close, and all he had to do was reach out an inch or lean forward and--

He really needed to stop thinking these thoughts when he was around her.


	2. Chapter 2: Quil & Claire

**Quil, Claire**

Drunk

"Claire, calm down. You're safe and--" Quil put his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"Not worried 'bout bein' sa--safe," Claire mumbles.

"How did you get into this mess, anyways? Okay, don't answer that."

"Quil? Quil, you know--" she stumbled a little.

"Claire, you're drunk, you need to--"

"I know, don't care. Quil, I--you know I love you, right?"

Quil froze. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"No, like really really love you. Like...I really want to...you're really beautiful and I really really want to--really need to kiss you right now."

"Claire, you don't know what you're saying, you don't--"

--

Library

Claire always went to the library when she couldn't think of what else to do.

When she was a kid, her mom or dad or aunt or Quil took her, and later she walked herself.

It's where she goes when she doesn't know where to go.

It's where she went when Alex in her math class asked her out, and they kissed behind the fantasy, authors H-through-L bookshelf.

That's also where he dumped her, but she prefers not to think about that.

That's where Quil found her crying, and he pulled her into his arms right behind _Klause, Annette Curtis: Blood and Chocolate._

He saw it and smiled wryly.

That's where, stupidly, she thought, she scanned every fantasy book ever written because maybe, just maybe, something will show up that will explain all of Quil's ridiculous behavior.

Of course she knew it wouldn't help, because when Jacob took her aside one time they were all at the beach, told her, _This really is Quil's decision, but hell, what fun is life when you don't take risks, and really, how could he think--_

He told her the legends, and she thought there'd be something a little more helpful there.

_Really, Claire,_ Jacob had said._ It's all right there. Dig a little deeper, into the meaning and hints and--you're not the only one looking for answers here._

_--_

Love

Really, I didn't know why I didn't realize it before. Maybe it took all those stupid boyfriends who dumped me after three dates anyways, when I wouldn't let them in my pants.

Thinking back, I was, to put it simply, and idiot. To not see the person who held me when I cried--each time, not because I loved them but because, well, it sucked when someone dumps you--I really had to be blind.

To not see him, when he's there my entire life...

I don't know why I didn't see him before.

--

Guilt

Then, came the guilt. I had taken so long to realize it, that I hadn't realized what _he_ must be feeling. I just had to look in his eyes--_just_ _look_ _in_ _his_ _eyes_--when I finally realized, and he saw that I realized.

But what must he have been feeling, all those times when he held me and I cried for boys neither of us would ever see again, boys that were, most importantly, _not_ _him_?

He never really told me what it was like for him, but I could guess.

--

Roses

Claire hated roses with a passion.

It was a strange thing, really, but whenever she saw them she had the strangest urge to throw up.

It was no wonder why she and Quil worked so well together. Forget imprinting, forget soul mates and fate and destiny and all that crap neither of them really believed in anyways (except imprinting, which was kind of hard to ignore).

Quil hated roses too.

--

Puzzle

"Dammit! _Dammit_!" I grabbed the lid of the box and smacked it repeatedly against the big red-brown head before me. "Damn you, Jacob!"

His eyes glittered with hilarity, ignoring my incessant pounding like it was a fly. I glared at him.

"What happened now?" Quil's voice calls from inside the house. He sticks his head out the door.

"Jake ate the last piece of the puzzle," I said grimly.

The wolf-Jacob-chuckle and human-Quil-laugh sounded suspiciously similar.

--

Cigarettes

"Please, Quil?"

"Absolutely not."

"Come on. I'll love you forever?"

"You already do."

"Damn. I'll love you for forever and a day?"

"No. Forever's enough for me, and anyways, we won't have forever if you kill yourself from lung cancer before you turn eighteen."

"I won't, I swear. I'm just having one."

"That's what they all say. Claire. I am not buying you cigarettes."

--

Sex

"What's the big deal, anyway?" She grumbles. "I mean, jeez, everyone's doing it, why not us?"

"Because..." it was hard to think of a good reason when she was looking at me like that, dressed like that--or rather, not dressed like that. "Put on some clothes."

"No."

"What?"

"If you don't want to do what we were meant to do--I mean species-wise and you-me-wise--you're going to have to resist."

"You know I can't," I groan as she crawls onto my lap. "Claire."

She trails her lips down from my lips to my chest. "_Claire_."

"Quil."

Her breath just brushes my skin. "Damn it."

"I'm really wishing you used another swear word right now, just so I could say something."

"Oh, Claire, don't start." She takes my hands, puts them on her waist, presses her lips to mine. Our tongues twirl together easily, and my hands brush upwards almost of their own accord.

"I already have."

--

Tampon

Oh, shit.

It really isn't good when your mom and aunt decide to go on a trip (women only!) the day you happen to run out of...

There's no way I'm asking Leah--I think I heard Paul teasing her once about "can't have babies, anyways, so shut up."

There's equally no way I'm going to any of the pack. Or my uncle--who counts as the pack--because that would be worse than going to Paul and Seth and Embry _all_ _at_ _once_.

God, why do boys have to be so immature.

But I really have no choice. So I go to the one person I was avoiding throughout this whole thought process.

"Do you need something?"

"Yeah, actually, I was wondering if you could give me a ride to the store..."

--

Child

Claire hated being called a child.

It really, really sucked, especially when, _technically_, she wasn't one, because, _technically_, she had a _-teen_ tacked on to the end of her age.

And it really sucked even more when she had a huge crush on her best friend, which was a bad thing because he was a werewolf who didn't have any interest in her, not at all, not in _that_ _way._

It sucked the most, though, when said best friend called her a child--well, not exactly, but close enough...

--

Memories

All she had were memories. They were fuzzy things--

_A flop of black hair, brown eyes, easy laughter, so _warm...

Not very concrete, just memories.

But memories could still hurt, and they did.

--

Smile

"I love your smile."

"Ditto."

"No, really." Claire smiled at him briefly. "I mean when you actually smile."

"Ditto."

"It lights your whole face up, you're so beautiful, and I really am embarrassing myself."

"Ditto."

"Is that all you can say?"

--

Mittens

"Mittens instead of handcuffs, you know, they're softer--" I smacked Embry on his head.

"Oh, _god_, I _really_ didn't need to hear that." Claire groaned, hiding her face against my chest.

"I mean, I can tell you how to--"

"Embry. Shut. Up."

"You just wish you could be us--"

"SHUT UP!" We both yelled at him at once.

--

Secret Meeting

"I really don't like this."

"Shut up."

"You're going to get in trouble."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Claire, really--agh, I--"

"Quil. Stop worrying so much. It's my problem if you get in trouble--no, don't say it's not--and unless you don't want to be doing this, then shut up and kiss me."

"I want nothing more than to be doing this--"

"Well, neither do I. So just forget where we are. It's the only place my mom won't come looking."

"It's kind of hard--"

"Yes, _it is_."

"That's disgusting. And stop laughing."

"Ha ha."

"As I was saying, it's kind of hard--_to forget where we are_!"

"You're not the one shoved up against a brick wall."

"What? Oh, I'm sorry, Claire, I didn't realize, I'll move--"

"You'll do no such thing."

--

Black Eyes

"Your eyes are black." Claire stated. Embry froze.

"What?"

"It happens when you're hungry."

Embry turned slowly. "Is there something you're not telling us, Quil?" He asks lightly.

"Shut up," I muttered, glancing at the six year old standing next to me.

"You heard the girl, make me some food."

He shoved me into the counter.

--

Hate

"I _hate_ you!" Out of all the circumstances possible where she could be saying this, I didn't think this would be the one. Throwing the guy off her seemed to be a good idea at the time...who knows what he was doing to her?

Exactly what she wanted, apparently.

"Claire, I had no way of knowing that's what you wanted--"

"Maybe the fact that I _wasn't_ _struggling_ had something to do with it!"

A fact that hurts. More than it should.

"I'm sorry, Claire."

"Just because you think you have a stupid wolfy bond with me doesn't mean I can't go and kiss anyone I want! You can go ahead and do that too."

"Do you mean that?" My eyes traveled down from her eyes to her lips.

"No," she snaps, her eyes following mine. "I know what you're thinking."

I sighed. "Yeah."

--

Peace

"You gotta chill, Claire."

"You gotta stop talking to me."

"Aw, come on. What's up with world peace, and all that?"

"It was peaceful until some creepy-ass stoner started talking to me--_get your hands off me_!"

"Whirled peas are good, Claire. Delicious. Ever have them? I can show you how to make them."

"That would not be my idea of a fun time."

"Make love, not war, Claire."

"You go do that."

--

A/N: No, that was not Quil. Sorry, I couldn't resist--it's just some random guy. (Reminded me of Mike, Jessica, Eric, etc.'s car in the Twilight movie. Have you seen it? The van?

--

Coffee

"Coffee," Jake mumbles, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure, sure." I squint at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." My eyes take in the long, angry scar skimming his face.

"Jacob? What happened?"

"Nothing, nothing." He swung his legs off the couch, heads towards the kitchen. "Is Quil here?"

"No..."

"Thanks."

"What do you mean? Jake, what happened?"

"It's doesn't matter, Claire. Don't worry about it."

--

Broken Glass

"I said don't worry about it, Claire." Jacob's voice is firm.

"Jake--"

"Claire."

"Does this have to do with--the, uh--thing you're...that happened? Before?"

"Yeah." He sighs. "Before."

"Can I ask what--"

"No." The glass he's holding drops, shatters on the ground. He stares at it, and tears follow the shards.

"Jake..." I step closer, avoiding the glass, and wrap my arms around him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, tensing at my touch. "You don't have to--"

"It's okay, Jake. Really."

--

Party

"It'll be fun, Claire. Come on."

"It won't." I planted my feel firmly. "Not happening, sorry."

"Why not?" He gazed at me imploringly.

"You know I hate parties, Quil."

"Yeah, but this is just one that--"

"No."

"Aw, Claire--"

"We could just stay here instead," I said.

"We could."

"And we could also...you know, just stay here."

"I'm beginning to like this idea more."

"I knew it."

--

First Date

"Is it supposed to be this awkward?" I wondered aloud as we sat awkwardly down at an awkward table in an even more awkward ice cream shop.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

The awkward looking pimply young waiter was starting towards us. He walked awkwardly.

"I mean, I've known you for almost my entire life, it shouldn't be like this," I rambled, fidgeting awkwardly in my seat. Did I mention that there was nothing not awkward in the entire place? Quil's eyes were awkward on my face, just avoiding my eyes. "I mean, we should be Quil and Claire, you know, having fun. Methinks we shouldn't have done this."

"Methinks you're over-analyzing. Me also wonder why you said methinks."

I stood up. What was this? It wasn't awkward! All the awkwardness just vanished from the atmosphere as I stood up.

"Methinks we should leave." Quil said, his eyes twinkling humorously.

"Methinks you're right."

--

Guts

"That took guts."

"I know." I sighed. _If he says that one more time, I swear, I'll kill him._

"Wow. Telling her like that...no warning, anything..." The sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"Stop making fun of me, Jake, it's not funny."

"I think it's hilarious."

--

Guitar

"I didn't know you played guitar," Quil said, looking at Claire holding the instrument about a foot away from her body.

"I don't. Leah plays guitar. I'm just holding it for her."

"_Leah_ plays guitar?" Quil spluttered. "_What_?"

"Yeah. Can you take this? I feel like I'm going to drop it any second."

"Leah. Plays. Guitar."

Before Claire could answer, Leah's voice retorted, "Yes, Leah does, do you have a problem with that?"

"No, no, not at all." But he smirked anyways.

--

Candy

"A _different_ kind of candy..." Colin was saying.

"I don't want to hear this." Claire stated. She looked imploringly at Quil, who was frowning at Colin.

"What are you talking about?" He asked Colin suspiciously.

Colin chuckled. "Oh, nothing you need to worry about spoiling the ears of your _innocent_ girl, Quil. Anyways, as I was saying, it was just...heavenly, delicious, you have no idea, the way it felt in my mouth..."

"Please, Quil. Do something."

Quil stood up, smacked Colin upside his head, and walked towards the door, Claire in tow.

On their way out, they heard the faintest...

"Oh, re_lax_, I was only talking about chocolate." Colin snickered.

--

Hug

Jacob knew how to hug people. Maybe it was the kind of person he was, or something, I didn't know.

Of course, hugging Quil isn't something I'd change for anything.

But something about the way Jacob just wrapped his arms around you, made you feel safe and warm and like everything would be okay, even if it wouldn't...

--

xxx

Dear Quil,

I really, really miss you. You have no idea.

Well, maybe you do, I don't know. But I never thought I wouldn't like being away from you as much as I do.

I wish I could put more in this letter, but absolutely nothing's happened. You'd think in a big city like this, more things would happen than in La Push, of all places, but it's so boring. I keep wishing I was back there with you and the others...

xxxooo

Claire

--

Diary

I froze. Quil spun around, a book dropping from his hands.

"Claire, I swear, I didn't--"

"What did you..." I didn't even think of what was in there--well, obviously I did subconsciously. But all I could think of was the way he was looking at me.

"I didn't see anything, I just looked to see what it was, it was just right there, I didn't think you kept a diary--"

"Well, I do."

"Claire, I'm sorry, really, I didn't mean to..." He broke off, looking down. "I'm really sorry, Claire, but I promise I didn't see anything..."

"Yeah, right," I whispered.

"Claire--"

"No, it's fine."

"What? Really?" His eyebrows raised.

"I guess. I dunno." I shrugged. "Whatever."

"I--"

"Yeah, whatever."

--

Kiss

"Can I kiss you?"

Claire looked up so she could see into his eyes. "What?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"I heard what you said, I just..._what_?"

Quil grinned slightly sheepishly, but didn't say anything.

"Um."

"So?"

"Um, okay, I guess."

His hand came up, thumb rubbed against her cheek. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."

--

Emerald Green Lace

Something green and lacy hung from Embry's fingers. Quil swore.

"What the hell, Quil?"

"Embry. Just leave it, okay?"

"You do realize that Sam's going to kill you?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "Yeah, I do. And do you realize that if Claire sees you right now, she'll kill you?"

A look crossed his face. "She's still here?"

His question was answered by Claire sticking her head around the doorway. "If I see who I'll kill wh--" She broke off mid-sentence. "What the hell?"

Embry tried to ignore Claire's clothing, or rather, lack of it, as she stalked across the room and ripped it from Embry's hand.

--

Detention

"You got _detention_? _Claire_ got _detention_?" Quil laughed loudly, which, if she told herself the truth, Claire really did expect.

"Oh, shut up," she muttered, but a smile tugged at her lips anyways.

"What, you don't like it? I can tell you all about it, Claire, it's fun."

"You know?"

"I know? I spent half my time in that room, Claire."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He tilted his head slightly. "Well...half my time _at_ _school_ in that room..."

Claire's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me."

"Nope."

--

Massage

"OW! Dammit, Quil, that _hurt_!" Claire leaped up from the floor in front of him.

"Sorry, sorry!" He held his hands up in the sign of surrender.

"I'm not a werewolf, okay?" She said irritably, wincing slightly as she started to sit back down.

"I realize that." He grinned slightly. "Sit down, Claire." He pulled her down the remaining way, and she leaned against his warm chest.

"Relax, Claire. I'll be careful." His fingers gently pressed the skin of her shoulders. She let out a barely audible sigh.

His lips pressed against the skin of her neck.

"You know, if you're trying to distract me, you're doing a god job."

--

Games

"Don't play these games with me, Quil." Claire put her hands on her hips, stared at him defiantly. Jacob looked from the deck of cards thrown on the floor to Quil's faltering expression to Claire's furious one.

"Wha--"

"What the hell, Quil! Don't try to deny it, you know you did, with that--I can't take it, really can't--" She shook, her hair fell in front of her face. Crying...or laughing?

"Um, Claire?"

Quil's head whipped towards the doorway where Jacob stood.

Claire burst out laughing--this time it was obvious. Quil's expression, if possible, got even more stricken.

"You didn't actually believe me, did you?"

--

Angel

"Look, Claire." Quil tossed a white bundle at Claire, who half-caught it.

"What's this...?" She flipped it over, revealing a sickening golden face. "Oh, god."

"It's you, Claire, don't you see?"

She chucked it back at him, hard, and it hit the side of his face.

"I was joking, I was joking!"

--

Red Bra

"Are you _asking_ for it?" Quil couldn't really look angry, as much as he tried.

"Yeah, actually, I am." Claire stretched her arms over her head, pulling her shirt off.

"Claire..."

"Hm?"

"Why are you taking your shirt off?" His voice trembled slightly, looking at her dark red bra. He swallowed, averting his eyes.

"Why do you think?"

"I...dunno."

"Why do people usually take their shirt off in front of other people?" She stepped closer, and he didn't back away, so she stepped closer again.

"Well, it depends who it is..."

"In front of other people of the opposite sex who are not their dad or brother." Her hands landed on his shoulders.

"Well, it could be your cousin..."

"Oh, shut up, Quil." She tilted her head up, brought his head down to meet her lips. "Maybe you should follow my example."

--

Dream

"You dreamt? You never dream." Quil stated.

"Well, I did," Claire said.

"And what was it about?"

"Hm?"

"About?" He repeated hesitantly, slightly cautious.

"You."


	3. Chapter 3: Jacob & Leah

**Jacob, Leah**

Sail

Leah sailed through the forest. Everything was a blur--even a bloodsucker wouldn't be able to see her clearly, she thought, slightly smug.

Even Jacob couldn't outrun her. This was the one time he couldn't outrun her, and she was taking full advantage of that fact.

She weaved and twisted through the trees, flying over branches, her paws hardly touching the springy earth.

Last time he tried to cut across, but now she flew in zigzags so all he could do was sit and wait.

It was nice, the reversal. She liked being the one out running.

--

Turntables

"Uh, what was that?" The look of shock on Jacob's face was almost funny.

"The tables have turned, Jacob," she said patiently. "Things have changed."

"What's changed?"

She looked into his dark, open eyes. "I think you know what I'm talking about."

--

Fifteen

When Leah was fifteen, Jacob was hovering between thirteen and fourteen.

She wouldn't be caught dead with him, but when she was...

It was like everything else just melted away. Sure, he was annoying as hell, and Seth was even worse running after him and being an irritating twit.

But if she could forget it was Jacob, he made her forget everything, just by being there. It was just something to do with him. His personality, or something, even though he was just a kid. And so was she, really.

She didn't really care. It was just where no one could see her, anyways.

--

Abandon

"You're joking?" He made it seem like she was doing something horrible.

"No, Jake. I'm not joking," she repeated once again.

"But..."

"It's still in the country! And I'll be back. Eventually."

"Eventually," he echoed. "Does everything mean nothing to you?" He asked quietly.

She frowned. "You know it does, Jake. I just...need a break."

"Right."

"You know it doesn't have anything to do with you."

"Of course." His tone is biting, sarcastic.

"Jake!" She placed a hand on his face. "Whatever. I give up."

--

Perspective

"It's just good to get some perspective," Jacob says.

"Excuse me?" She laughs dryly. "Oh yes, oh so funny to act like an immature idiot, like the last year doesn't matter."

"Leah, you know I didn't mean--"

"Did you ever mean it? Did any of them ever mean it?"

"No. They never did. You know that."

"I don't."

"Leah, it was just--"

"Some fun. Yeah, I get it."

"Do you?"

"Sure. You insult me for fun. Totally understandable."

--

Hill

"Hey!" She's too late, his hands connect with her back and push her forward. She tumbles down the hill. But she grabs his hands before she falls, and he falls with her.

They come to a slow stop, and Leah jumps up, whacking leaves loose from her hair. She looks around at the forest surrounding the small clearing they were in. "Jake, you--ugh."

"I'm sorry! Jeez, it's not a big deal."

"Yeah, well..." She starts walking towards the trees.

"Leah, I'm sorry!" He scrambles up and grabs her hand. "Wait!"

She spins around. "What?" She snarls.

He drops her hand. "Leah, I--"

"Just leave me alone, Jake."

--

Pair

"Excuse me?" Leah stares at the strange woman at the counter, uncomprehending.

"Um...well, I just said--"

"What did you call him?" She jerks her thumb towards where Jake is sitting, and he raises an eyebrow.

"Your boyfriend? Oh!" Her hand flies up to her mouth. "I'm sorry, is he your brother?"

Leah realized how much she liked La Push. Everyone _knew_ who she _was_. She used to hate this, hate seeing their pity--but at least they didn't think _Jacob_ was her _brother_, like in this horrible city.

"No. Just a friend. A friend." As she says it, her mind jumps--okay, so they kiss...occasionally...well, he's a good kisser...

"Ah. Right. Of course." The woman looks at her with a look Leah doesn't like at all, and she remembers the kiss they shared in the doorway...right.

She thanks the woman, and hurries back to where Jacob's sitting.

"What happened?" He asked.

She sighs, keeping her eyes on him.

"She thought we were _together_," she said with disgust. "Then she asked if you were my _brother_."

"Is it really that bad?" He smiles slightly.

"What? You being my brother? Yes, actually it is, Jake, seeing that we--we--" she sputters, gesturing wildly around them.

"No. Not that."

"Being..._together_? A..._pair_?" She looks at him like he has three heads.

"Well, yeah." He shrugs, and he looks so adorable, looking at her through his hair and eyelashes. She sighs again.

"No. No, I guess not."

--

Come

"Aw, come on, Leah."

"No."

"Come on. It'll be fun."

"Leave me alone."

"Please?"

"Why do you even care? Just go laugh at my pathetic life with your idiotic friends. I'm not going."

"Okay, then. I will."

--

Envy

Leah never thought she'd be jealous of a baby.

She didn't want to be in Jacob's position, no way. She'd die before she was connected to freak mutant spawn with "steel cables".

It was the spawn she hated, because it was the spawn she wished she...

Had that. She didn't care if it was Jacob, she told herself that firmly, just someone.

That loved you unconditionally. Who loved unconditionally. That wasn't Jacob. Of course.

Unfortunately, the only guys left in the pack who haven't seen her are obnoxious little kids.

Right.

Not Jacob.

Of course.

--

Process

"It takes time, Leah." His hands are on her shoulders, his eyes boring into hers. She finds it hard to concentrate.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"You know that. You of all people know that."

"Yeah. Seeing all the experience I have." He finds it almost impossible to look in her eyes. He can't help but think _if only_...

"I wasn't going to tell you," she says abruptly. "I don't _want_ you to know I'm in love with you."

"I know." His expression isn't pitying, isn't judging, isn't angry.

"Why are you staring at me, Jake? Just go find your spawn and make little wolf-spawn babies."

"Leah." He tries not to let the hurt show. "Leah..."

She doesn't respond, just looks him right back in the eye. "Of course, you could always change your mind..." She smirks suggestively, a rare cover.

"Oh, shut up." He hits her lightly on the arm, but he's smiling.

--

Inevitable

"It was inevitable."

"I know."

"We both knew it was going to happen."

"I know."

"I didn't choose it. I didn't choose her."

"I know."

"I chose _you_."

"I know."

"I have no choice."

"I know."

"What can I do?"

She's silent.

"What can I do?" He says again.

"Don't cry," she says. There's no emotion in her voice.

"I..."

"Don't."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I can't believe this had to happen to you _twice_."

"I know. I know."

--

Except

"Everyone's here," Embry said, glancing around. Jacob gives him one hard glare.

"What? Oh, jeez."

"Leah's not here."

"Okay, everyone's here except Leah. Happy, Jake?"

"No."

--

Fly

It was always the same, to fly through the forest. She was always escaping something. Or someone.

Leah Clearwater couldn't wait until the day when she could fly through the forest with nothing behind her.

--

Side

"I'm not taking sides."

"Seth."

"I mean it, Leah. You and Jake have to work whatever it is out, and I'm not taking sides. And no, I won't help you in a fight, but that's only because I know Jake won't hurt you."

"You do, don't you?"

"Yeah, you're always fighting, but if you can't tell he loves you than you need to look a little closer, Leah. And maybe you should stop being so mean to him. He had enough with Bella, he deserves to be happy."

"Wow, Seth, you're really the feeling--"

"Leave me alone, Leah. Just because I can see the obvious doesn't make me _girly."_

"And are you saying I'm not?"

"Stop laughing at me."

"You never answered the question."

--

Unbelievable

"Holy shit." Leah's fingers trace her lips. She's in a daze.

"Yeah." Jacob's smiling slightly, and looking at her in such a damn familiar way...

"You never told me you were that good a kisser, Jake."

He snorted. "Did you expect me to?"

"Not really, actually."

--

Hazard

"I can't let you come, I'm sorry."

Leah's staring at his serene expression, her anger growing.

"What, 'cause I'm a girl? You know I'm faster than any of you."

"That's not it, Leah. You know that speed isn't the only issue, what if they catch you? I'm sorry, you'd be a hazard to everyone there."

She stares at him a few seconds more.

"I love it how you make me feel so welcome in my own pack, Jacob. Who was it who said I was part of the 'family'?" She snorted. "I should have known better. I can't believe I let you--"

A stranger in the human world, an outsider in her own screwed up mythical one. Leah Clearwater swore that she would never fall in love with another werewolf.

--

Growth

Rosalie smiles. "You're doing well, Leah. Better than I expected."

Leah turns her back to the blond vampire, looking out the window at the grass in front of the Cullens' house. Jacob's playing with the spawn--sorry, _Nessie_. Leah sees the top of his head, black and messy. There are leaves in his hair. His hand comes up, brushes her red-gold curls.

Alice sighs. "Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge, Rose," she whispers so quietly Leah can't hear.

Leah sniffs, and her tears roll down her face to fall on the grass around Jacob and Nessie.

--

Until

Leah surfaces with a start.

_Dammit_, she thinks for about the thousandth time. _I thought Jacob was supposed to be _nice.

She pushes him away when he tries to kiss her again.

"Sorry, Jake. I already had my heart broken by an idiotic werewolf, it's not happening again."

His dark eyes are cast in shadow when he furrows his eyebrows and frowns. "What do you mean? I'm not going to break your heart."

Leah snorts. "Yeah, right. We both know it's just until..."

"Until what?" He's suddenly defensive.

"Until your spawn grows up and starts getting all _womanly_, Jacob, what do you think."

He didn't even tell her _don't call her that._

He frowns again, and even though Leah can see that he doesn't exactly look bad, it doesn't fit him. He's supposed to be happy.

"I'm not Sam, Leah."

"Really? You know, I couldn't tell, seeing how you look exactly like him."

"For once I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic."

"You're much more handsome than him, don't worry," Leah snaps.

"And what do you mean, get all 'womanly'? You're a hundred times more 'womanly' than she'll ever be. Whatever that means."

--

Book

Jacob stares at her. He's been doing that a lot lately.

"What?" She asks him.

He just shakes his head.

"I didn't know you read," he said softly.

"What?"

"I thought you thought books were...stupid or something."

"That was only when everything happened to the people in there that never happened to me. In a book, Sam would always have come back to me."

"And now you don't care?"

Leah smiles. "No. No, I don't care."

--

Polish

Leah smiles at her fingernails. She likes purple, she thinks. It looks nice.

Leah likes being a girl. She loves acting like a guy sometimes, hanging out with them (because once she stopped being so mean to them they actually started to like her), but it's nice to be a girl sometimes.

--

Compatibility

"You're asking for it."

"What?"

"I hate you, Leah."

"I thought you were supposed to be forgiving."

"We don't work."

"What?"

"We don't work, Leah. _We_. Don't. _Work_."

"Why not?"

"Just doesn't. It just doesn't work. You tell me."

"But I think we work just fine."

"You don't actually."

"Whatever."

"We just don't fit, Leah."

--

Ideal

Him and Nessie were, apparently, perfect. But Jacob really didn't feel that. At all.

For him, it was all Leah. Everything was Leah. Yeah, they didn't fit together, they were completely different, but he couldn't stop thinking about her.

And, apparently, she couldn't stop thinking about him.

He phases in on a particular vivid thought of himself, and instead of being completely freaked out, which is what he should be, seeing that he has a soul mate, he runs towards her because he can't stand it anymore.

She's not hiding anything and he's not going to try to anymore.

--

Stranger

Nessie was a stranger to him. Her strange red-brown curls were too much like her father's, and Jacob _hated_ that hair. Her eyes were too much like her mother's, and how weird would that be?

Jacob decided it was a fluke. It had to be. What kind of sick joke would it be that he imprint on the daughter of his mortal (ha, ha) enemy and the girl he fell in love with?

Sick. Sick, sick sick.

He could tell himself that when he wasn't around her, sure. But the second he saw that hair, those eyes, that pale-white bloodsucker skin...

He asked Leah to keep him away from her. He wouldn't be able to himself, and no way Quil or Embry would do it, so he asked Leah.

She grinned, beautiful gold-brown skin glinting, black hair shining. She really was beautiful, Jacob thought.

She said, sure, Jake, whatever you want. She opened her mouth to make some joke about him just ordering, he was sure of it, but then she closed it, something crossed her dark brown eyes, and she asked, "Why?"

He hated himself, he hated her, he hated himself for imprinting on her, and he couldn't stand it. Even then he felt the pull. He hated it. He imagined cutting the steel cables and being...

Free.

He clenched his teeth, his fists.

Jake, he heard from far away. Jake!

He said he was going. "Where," she asked. His answer made her sigh.

"How did you expect me to stop you, Jake?" She asked, and he shook his head. "You're stronger than me."

"Help me, Leah. Stop me. Please. You promised." He crossed between yes and no, stay and go.

"Jake, stay."

Go.

"Stay. I can't stop you, and I promised, so unless you want me to get Quil and Embry, just sit down and stay put."

"I have to, Leah, I can't stop."

"Jake..."

"Leah, help me." He was almost crying. Jacob didn't cry, and Leah froze.

"Stop it, Leah, break it."

"I can't, Jake."

"I hate this, Leah. Stop it. I have to go. Stop me."

"How..." Jacob stumbled backwards, his back was against a tree. He gripped it hard.

"Please."

Leah bit her lip. "Jake, I..."

She kissed him. Pulling him roughly to her, she crushed her lips to his, muffled his gasp, twining her fingers in his hair.

Jacob forgot, for the moment. The pull was fainter. Leah tried to keep her eyes from flying open in shock--kissing Jacob wasn't as bad as she had expected.

--

Personal

"Shut up, Emily."

Emily sighed. "Why are you so hostile? I just want you to be happy."

Leah didn't think that deserved a response. She just snorted, shook her head.

"Jacob's a good kid, Leah."

She just stared at her, not understanding. "Why are you telling me about Jacob?"

Emily shrugged, an old smile lighting up her face, her eyes shining, reminding Leah of high school.

"Sam told me some things."

"What things?"

Emily's smile grew wider, knowing Leah was curious now.

"Just some things. Some thoughts."

"Emily, if you haven't forgotten, I can see Jake's thoughts too."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

But now that she thought about it, Leah hadn't _seen Jake's thoughts_ for ages now. There were always excuses--_you go sleep, you go rest, I'm going to see Billy, I'm going home, we don't need so many on patrol, Seth'll go with you..._

"Yeah. What'd Sam say?"

"Just some things."

"What things? Emily!"

"Go ask Jake."

"Oh, sure. 'Hey, Jake, what are you thinking that you're hiding from me that makes Emily thinks we're destined for each other?' "

Emily just laughed.

--

Expert

"I am an _expert_," Rosalie said, "in things of these matters."

"What matters?" Leah asked.

"Matters of the heart." Leah would have laughed if it wasn't for the look on Rosalie's face. Like she was pained by the corniness.

"Um, sure."

"More specifically, getting your heart broken. Twice."

Leah froze. "An why would I need to know about that?"

"Oh, please. It's obvious enough to anyone who's paying attention."

Leah's expression changes from the shock to the fear, the realization. "Shit."

"No, don't worry. He's too wrapped up in his--maleness."

"Mm."

"I can help you."

"I don't want to be helped."

"Not like that."

"What?"

"Look at you--" Rosalie swept her hands in the air in front of Leah-- "and look at her. Yes, she's beautiful, but she's a child."

"Have you seen Quil and Claire?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Leah, Leah! You've got to want to be helped."

"I want to be helped."

"Good. Then let's start."

--

Pavement

The ground really was interesting, Leah thought. She felt like the air was pressing into her ears, her head. She felt compressed. Claustrophobic.

Jacob wouldn't stop talking. She always thought he talked too much. Then she thought he thought too much. Now she thought he should just shut up.

"Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"

"No," she answered truthfully. She wouldn't look at him. She knew that if she looked in his eyes, she'd be done for.

So she stared at the pavement as Jacob talked, feeling smaller and smaller and smaller.

--

Hold

"Jacob. Jacob Black. La Push. Washington. Middle of nowhere," she added quietly. The machine on the phone finally got it.

"Please hold."

Leah almost threw the phone down in frustration. _Why_ did their phone have to break, _why_ did they all have to be so nosy and share every little thing with each other? She would just have called Seth. God, she should have just called Seth.

The music started, the horrible, fake...

She didn't put it down, just cursed at Jacob under her breath.

"Hello?" Even Leah couldn't help but sigh in relief at Jacob's melodious voice taking the place of that...it shouldn't even be called music.

"Leah?"

She couldn't say anything for the longest time. She kept thinking, he _recognized_ her and she didn't even _say_ anything.

"Okay, it's not Leah. Who is it?"

She took a deep breath.

"It is me, Jake," she whispered, closed her eyes.

Finally.

--

Whole

"I don't need you to be whole," Leah spat.

"Of course not. Neither do I."

"I just need you to...be you."

"I just need you because...I want you."

"That's a better answer."

--

Damage

Watching Jacob, watching Jacob talk to Nessie, play with her, kiss her forehead, kneel down and take her hands and whisper to her and watching Jacob love Nessie was even harder than watching Sam love Emily.

Emily was her cousin, her friend, but Nessie was the _enemy_. The enemy Leah thought she and Jacob shared a hatred of.

Watching Jacob talk to Edward like he was a human being and watching Jacob talk to Bella like she wasn't someone who broke his heart hurt almost as much.

But she could forget about Bella and Edward when she looked at Jacob. Jacob and Nessie, watching Jacob and Nessie.

--

Fame

Leah was famous in La Push. Even more than Sam. It was something she took some twisted pleasure in, something she liked having.

She would never be good enough for him, but at least more people knew who she was.

--

Candy

Jacob brought Nessie candy.

It was the only human food she liked, and Jacob brought her some almost every day.

Leah would go with him and watch him give the candy to Nessie.

Sometimes Jacob offered her some. He held out the bag, raised his eyebrows, held Nessie around her waist or shoulders with a strong brown arm.

They would both look at her with such different eyes, eyes that didn't match at all, and she would shake her head no, even though she wanted so much to reach into the bag, pull him closer, watch Nessie disappear from his side...

She never did.

--

Salad

Nessie loved candy, but she hated salad.

So did Jacob.

He gave his to Leah. She hated it too, but she took it, ate it along with her own.

He thought she liked it, thought she liked his salad.

--

Supervise

Jacob asked Leah to watch Nessie.

He and Seth had to go on patrol, and as much as she begged him to switch them, he refused, saying she was too tired, needed to rest, just stay at the Cullens' house and watch over Nessie.

They left. the Cullens were nowhere in sight. Nessie stared at her, too scared to touch her and too shy to talk. Or maybe she couldn't. Leah really didn't know, or care.

She stared right back, right into those eyes Jacob loved so much.

She left. She walked around the forest human and waited. She shut her eyes tight when Jacob phased right in front of her--_what the hell was he thinking_--waited until he grumbled that he had clothes on, why was she so touchy, opened her eyes, saw that what Jacob was wearing really couldn't be counted as _clothes_, seeing as they only covered half of him.

"Why'd you leave, Leah? She could have been--she could have--anything could have happened--"

"It didn't," she said shortly, tore her eyes away from him.

"What's wrong with you, Leah?" He asked, his voice suddenly softer, his eyes gentler, and when she looked in them she almost forgot everything that was happening.

She shook her head, looked away.

"I dunno," she lied.

--

Gorgeous

Leah felt beautiful when Jacob looked at her. No matter who he was in love with.

But when he told her, looking at her, kissing the corner of her mouth, "you're beautiful, Leah, you're gorgeous," she believed him, and she preferred it that way.

--

Skirt

"You are...wearing a skirt." Jacob stared openly at her, no trace of shame in his face.

"Wow," Embry said. "Jake's learned to state the obvious. Congratulations."

"Shut up," Leah muttered, looking at Jacob with his eyes on her.

"Oh, please. Just get at it already," Embry retorted, and strode away.

"Leah?" Jacob said a few seconds later, his eyes pulling towards hers.

"Hm?"

"You...are...what did Embry mean?"

"What did Embry mean? You mean when he said we should 'get at it already'?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I dunno." Leah stepped closer to him.

"You don't?" Their eyes met, Jacob looked away, a slight red blush coloring his face.

"You are so blind, Jacob."


End file.
